Rollercoaster....of love

I saw an OB yesterday and I was seriously hoping for some closure of some sort. Worse case scenario being that there is either an ectopic pregnancy going on or a miscarriage is for sure happening. Best case being that I'm worrying over nothing and all is well.

Well, they kept me waiting over an hour. After the fact the doc was very appologetic but still...

What an anxious hour that was. Then, finally, my name was called and I'm brought into a room and told to undress and wait for the doc. Oh, you know the only thing better than waiting in a Dr's office is waiting NAKED in a Dr's office. So I'm covered in a paper sheet from the waist down and I look across the room and see this posted on the wall:



...and I'm thinking the thing making me feel overwhelmed, anxious and very sad is this Dr's Office.

I have been bleeding for 6 days now and that of course I know this is not good. I brought in my blood work from last week and the doc told me about four times that my levels were way too low and she didn't hold out much hope for me. There was a silver lining in that the ultrasound showed a sac in the uterus, so an ectopic pregnancy was ruled out.

I went to their lab and had some more blood drawn and when the nurse asked me if I was doing okay I totally lost it right there in front of everybody. Poor gal didn't have any tissues or anything and I'm full on crying with snot and everything. Oh well.

You know when you've had one of those days when not even Nutella covered strawberries can fix things....well, luckily yesterday was NOT one of those days.


My hubby gave me some great advice that I'm taking to heart. I'm going to just live in my moment, and be happy that I'm pregnant and not worry until there is something substantially worrisome going on. For right now, I'm nauseous as can be and I couldn't be happier.

Panic, calm, panic....rinse and repeat

I had enjoyed four full days of unadulterated bliss. Bestie and I went shopping for Preggie Pops and Bellie Bars and I'm registering willie nillie at Motherhood and online to my Expectant Mother's group through our insurance. Then there was trouble....I woke up four days ago to a nasty surprise. Blood.

I got into my GP right away and with Bestie in tow we skedaddled on over. My GP did a pelvic and ran some bloodwork and sent it off to the lab. She told me I was not having a miscarriage At The Moment and to go home and try to not worry. (Yeah Right!) She told the lab to put a rush on the bloodwork and that she would call me in a few hours.

So I waited.

And waited.

And Waited.

The panic had been slowly building throughout the day and frequent calls were made to my support system: my mom, my bestie, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law. All reassured me that because I was not cramping and the blood was so minimal I had nothing to worry about. So my galloping heart would finally whoa a bit and I'd hang up the phone and I'd be calm.....until about ten minutes later when the doubts and fears would start in again.

My doc called me a little over 24 stress-filled hours later and told me that the bloodwork looked great and the levels indicated a normal 5 weeks into pregnancy, which corresponded perfectly with my data. Phew. "Stay down, stay calm, and get into an OBGYN ASAP."

As you can probably imagine that hasn't been too easy. But keeping the Rookie in the dugout is number one priority for Team Jorgensen right now, and all the players are pitching in. Well, they're trying.

Hubby and Noel administered a blessing to me and it was such a deeply moving experience, too personal to share, but mentioning it just to say props to the priesthood, we are so blessed.

On Friday I called my own personal Homeopathic expert, Janeen, and she went above and beyond. Not only did she bring me Raspberry Leaf tea, which has essential 1st trimester health benefits, but she also brought me lunch and entertainment in the form of her adorable, precious twins. She also cleaned my kitchen which gives her extra bonus points on the friend-o-meter.

Today is Sunday and the bleeding has finally stopped. I've never felt happier to feel so nauseous either, it's a sign that things are as they should be. I sure hope all this isn't a sign of things to come...

I see the OB on Tuesday.

Kids: Mom Has A Surprise....

With pregnancy test in a necklace box, a "Big Hunk" candy bar, and a box of Sugar Babies I break the news to Hubby. He's still in shock. We decided not to spread the news abroad just yet, and after all I am over 35 and it's best not to reveal until after 8-9 weeks just in case....blah blah blah.

I figure if there is a worst case scenario here then I already know who is going to see me through and give me the grief counseling I need. So my Girls are brought in on the secret. And grandma's must be told, so they get to know too. And I have sisters.....oh heck, the circle of trust is growing pretty large.

So David decides we need to let the kiddos know because he's sure it's going to get around to them and it had best come from us. I disagree and think we should wait at least two more weeks. So here's how things like this are decided in our house.....

Dad yells, "Kids: Mom has a surprise for you. Come bug her until she tells you."

Nice one Hubby. Slick, real slick.

So my Team has all assembled and we have told them all the news and we have come up with a term of endearment for our new bundle of joy. We are expecting a new little rookie to our team and we are all over-joyed. Especially 7-year old Adric who is thrilled to be a big brother.

I'm Flipping Out

So, like all of you, I have that wonderful modern invention, a smart phone. And a miraculous little app that helps me track my main monthly event. Not really trying to track fertility, mind you (no matter what Hubby thinks). Anyways, I'm thinking "Oh bummer, Valentine's Day is going to be a real let down this year cause look which uninvited relative is coming to town one day prior to the big romantic event. Well, our big day came and went and no visitor. So, at late day three I'm getting a little weird-ed out because I have this modern marvel that has never been wrong. I went speedy quick down to my local grocery store and purchased the cheapest test on the market, because honestly I've been on this roller coaster ride before and I'm thinking I can do with the discounted ticket this time around. A real quick negative on my stick will tell my body to relax and go with the flow, literally.

There were two sticks in this pack and on Thursday Morning I utilized stick one. I watch in anticipation as the lines start appearing one after another and at first I'm like, "yep that's what I thought". But wait.........is that a vertical line AND a horizontal line? Holy flip, I think I see a Plus. Oh wait, maybe I just want to see a plus....

So I decide the test is inconclusive, but suspicious enough to warrant an "official" test. So I excitedly make an appointment with my GP.

Yep, and guess what?

"I'm sorry to have to tell you but the test is negative. It might be too early to tell, wait a week and then come see us again."

Okay, well that was exciting for about four hours, but now we can all go back to our regularly scheduled program, right?

Okay so that was Day 5 of missed period and Morning of Day 6 comes around and I have never ever been this late and I'm feeling just a bit "off". Sure, maybe I'm wanting to feel "off" but there is that ambiguous "+" staring me in the face and I figure maybe yesterday was too soon to say but today will be different. So I get out stick #2. And I'll be jiggered if that dang stick doesn't say exactly the same thing as stick #1. So I do what any other neurotic girl with an awesome best friend would do, I bring my sticks to my bestie, Akaemi's house and ask her to look at them.

"So, I'm not the only one, they are totally ambiguous, right?" My supportive and understanding bestie says, "Yes, sweetie, now go home and WAIT. No more sticks for at least three days." Good advice. Great advice.

So that night I bought a package of THREE digital sticks. But only just to keep around. I'm not going to use them or anything.

Okay, so I have a problem....admitting it is the first step right.

Fast forward to the next morning and I'm frantically trying to open the package and get myself another stick. I'm like an addict and I'm jonesing bad.

And the blasted stick malfunctions....no reading at all. Nada.

I emphatically decide that I'm not going to use another stick today, and it's just not in the cards to get a definitive answer and that's okay. I busy myself with other chores. Two hours later I'm in the bathroom with another stick in my hand. I'm weak. DON'T Judge Me!!!!

I've got my answer. It's Clear and Concise. On the LCD Screen in big bold letters: PREGNANT

So I immediately fall to my knees and offer up a sincere heartfelt and tearful prayer. "Wow, Your really going to entrust another precious soul into my care?" Somebody up there really loves me...or at least has an outrageous sense of humor.

We'll see.